If there ever were a year that I wanted to express my gratitude it is this year. I am, by nature, a take it all in and count your blessings kind of person. As the client weddings have ended for the year and I’m settling into my new place while ramping up efforts for my little sister’s January wedding, I can’t help but reflect even more on my appreciation. Not just because we’re getting closer to Thanksgiving or the whole family holiday season – but because I was pretty sure this year was going to kill me and yet, much to my satisfaction, I am still standing. This is a very personal post, but I wouldn’t be where I am right now if it weren’t for my family, my friends, and my clients-turned-friends. Queue the happy, personal journey music (a fave happy song right now is “Strawberry Swing” by Coldplay)… It’s a wordy post!
This year has been incredibly bittersweet for me as business has taken off for me, I have had a great sense of accomplishment but at the same time my personal life took a wild twist that I never in my life would have anticipated. I’ve moved twice, I’ve pushed through an insane work schedule, trying to keep up with an ever changing industry, and have been working through the intense heartache of having someone walk out of my life after nearly a decade together and only a year and a half of marriage.
Some things will challenge you to the point of torture and you’re ready to curl up and let the world pass you by. When the decision to end my marriage was made I was ready to do that and I was ready to end the business as well. How could I possibly encourage other people to be successful in their marriages if mine didn’t even last? How could I keep it together for other people and be their support for every avenue of planning their marriages when I was falling apart on the inside and hoping I didn’t crack and lose it over a discussion about how to set up escort cards at a details meeting. Would it reflect poorly on me as a planner? As a person? I firmly believe that I am there to assist with preparing for the marriage and not just the wedding. I love planning the event, but I love that I am able to assist couples so they can focus on marriage preparations and not just the small details of the day. Almost every major hard part in the closing of my relationship, was followed by a major bright spot in my year of planning, and every low point of “that” process was marked with some sort of important moment with my clients. It truly has been a year that can only be defined as bittersweet for me.
I have made it through 2009 because I have been able to rely on family to help me with little things from helping me work through a Chuppah emergency at a May wedding (Thanks Mom and Dad) or helping with tear down at numerous events (Thanks brother, sister, and soon to be brother-in-law), and endless phone calls just to hear me out (Thanks, Christine) or send me notes of encouragement that made my entire week (thanks cousins and aunts). I have had friends step up to the plate both with assisting and moral support, and I have made some wonderful new friends in the vendors I’ve met this year. And my clients… I know we all say we’ve got the best clients, but I will fight for this one! The support I’ve gotten from my couples is something I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for. The long, off the subject chats, the fun email exchanges, the hugs and laughs the day of the wedding, the letters I get after the weddings… I cherish all of it. Their understanding and kind words of support for who I am and what I do have been fuel to push me forward. I love the connection I have with each and every one of you. As the summer went on and I witnessed so many other giddy couples take their vows and make their promises to each other, I realized I was right where I needed to be and that there was a purpose for each and every person in my life. I have a sense of renewed understanding about myself and my life but also a renewed focus for what I do and why I do it. Being involved in such an intimate way with the human connection of love and family is both a privilege and honor to witness each week. I think everyone that does this should see it that way – we are being allowed into other people’s lives. Invited in. We should take a moment out of it all to be appreciative of the experience.
Sometimes you don’t have a choice about things, but what counts most is what you do with the choices you DO have and that you really focus on the things and people in your life that do matter. I’m stubborn and determined, so I already knew I could handle anything life threw at me, I just didn’t know I had so much support immediately ready to let me lean on them if I needed it. As the year has wound down, I am feeling a bit like my old self again and feeling more healthy every day. I am blessed. I already knew this. I am lucky to be able to lean on people that sincerely want good things for me in my life, and I hope that I am able to return the same kind of support should it ever be needed. If you can’t tell by now, I’m an ‘ it’s the journey, not the end goal ‘ kind of girl. Thanks for listening. Hopefully you’ll draw some sort of motivation to think about what it is that helped you succeed or survive this year… because we didn’t do it alone.
I call this year a win for Team Fischer. Thanks, guys. ”Thanks” will never be enough.